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Communication in marriage is a skill you can learn.

Nobody's born a natural communicator. Like riding a bike or hitting a baseball, marriage communication is a skill you can learn. And good communication is the key to improving your relationship.

Karl’s parents fought every night until they got divorced when he was in 6th grade. Jen’s parents seemed like they hardly talked to one another at all. When she was in high school, they eventually had a few blow out fights and separated. It seems like none of their friends have particularly great marriages either.

Now, Karl and Jen wonder if it’s even possible to have a healthy, stable, happy marriage.   Is being a good communicator something you just have to be born with? Where does one look when your parents weren’t good models of communication in marriage?

Psychologists have been studying communication skills in marriage for years, and there's a lot of consensus amongst experts about how happy couples communicate differently than unhappy ones.

Power of Two Online is designed to help couples understand what psychologist have learned about how to communicate with your spouse, at a fraction of the cost of couples counseling. As a member, you’ll learn the nitty-gritty details that make loving marriages work. And, our personalized coaching staff can help answer your questions as you apply the skills you learn in your own relationship.

Communication in relationships is like a river. When thoughts and feelings flow smoothly between marriage partners it's fun, feels good, and helps support everyone around. However, when communication flow is turbulent, it's potentially dangerous and destructive. And when communication gets blocked, pressure builds up. Then when the words start flowing again, they tend to come out suddenly in a damaging raging flood.

Because many married couples struggle with healthy communication, especially about important issues, it’s common for couples to avoid difficult conversations. They share trickles of information back and forth about who’s going where when and who’s going to pick up the kids, without ever diving into the conversations that are actually most important to them. Overtime, the lack of a full communication flow dries up the passion and love between them.

What does great marriage communication look like? In a great relationship couples talk freely, openly, and feel safe sharing their most private thoughts. They comfortably and considerately verbalize their concerns and feelings when difficulties arise and voice their positive thoughts when things are good. Both partners talk tactfully, staying far from attacking, hurtful or controlling comments. They listen attentively, trying to understand what their partner says with sympathy rather than looking for what’s wrong in what their partner has to say or dismissing what they hear, even if they have a different perspective. And after talking, both people in the marriage feel good about the conversation, and feel like their concerns have been considered and addressed.They even look forward to the opportunity to talk with each other, whether about small things or bigger issues that require much work to resolve.

Great communication in relationships is a skill that you can learn. It takes practice. And it takes a teacher that can show you how. Power of Two is designed to teach you the skills to master the art of communication free of any fighting, bitterness, or distrust.

Try our free relationship quiz

 

Hello,

I'm Dr. Abigail Hirsch. I lead the Power of Two coaching team. We are here to help you stop fighting and build trust, intimacy and love.

This free relationship quiz will give you a better sense of how we can help you.

Just so you know, all the information you share will be kept private and will only be seen by you and our coaching team.

Dr. Abigail Hirsch

Frequently Asked Questions about Communication in Marriage
Why is communication in marriage important?
Effective communication allows good thoughts and feelings to flow between a couple. With the right skills, bickering, hurt feelings and resentment will go way down.
What makes for good communication in marriage?
Listening to learn, instead of listening to win an argument. Talking about yourself and asking about the other, instead of assuming you know what the other person thinks or should do.
Why is communication in marriage so hard?
A lot of people didn’t hear positive models of communication from their parents. Without a strong foundation in skillful communication, it’s easy for emotions to run high and to get off track. Fortunately these skills can be learned at any age.
Is it possible to improve communication in marriage?
Yes! There are some simple skills that can make a world of difference. It just takes a bit of practice and a willingness to learn.
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Funding for this project was provided by the United States Department of Health Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant 90-FE-0123. Any opinions, finding, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Department of Health and Human Servies, Administration for Children and Families.