Want to know how to save your marriage? Read on.
Marriage is an exciting yet challenging chapter in your life, and often we are not prepared for just how hard it can be. Perhaps, like many couples, you find you and your spouse arguing, bickering and wondering where the love you had has gone. Maybe you feel like nothing can save your marriage now. The good new is, you can save your marriage! Most common marriage problems—fighting, lack of communication, loss of intimacy, alienation—can be repaired even with just one spouse working alone to learn powerful marriage skills. Dr. Susan Heitler, the founder of Power of Two Online, recommends three core areas if you want to save your marriage. These are the 3 Ls.
Communication is equally about expressing yourself tactfully and clearly AND deeply listening and digesting what the other person is saying. You are bound to have disagreements, and instead of this breaking up your relationship, these can be moments that help you save your marriage. First, instead of jumping to defend your position and attack the other’s, truly listen to what your spouse is saying. Try to see what is right in his or her statements, and then ask questions in order to understand both of your underlying concerns. By listening you can move forward to finding a win-win solution that will leave both of you satisfied. Respect and intimacy will blossom, and tension will ease knowing that both of you are on the same team.
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Positivity and love are the essential components of a happy marriage. Love is being open and receptive to your spouse, helping him or her out around the house, providing support on tough days. Love is also small shows of affection, a hug or a kiss for no reason, and having warm and joyful sexual encounters. Love and positivity are things you can radiate out at every moment and will help you save your marriage. The more love you radiate out, the more your spouse (and others) will want to be around you.
Be open to learning and change. Marriage is a high skilled activity—skills which we are often not taught growing up, but which good marriage counseling advice can provide. Set goals for yourself and learn, absorb, and practice your new skills. And keep going!—Life is a learning process, and gathering skills as you go is how to make a relationship last.
Ready to save your marriage? Power of Two is a great jumping off point for a spouse who wants to work alone, or with their spouse, to build the marriage of their dreams. It’s the smart, convenient, fun and affordable alternative to marriage counseling. Start talking with your coach today!