how to stop arguing
Every couple--no matter how well they communicate in a relationship--has times where they disagree. At the same time, this doesn't have to turn into a fight! How to stop arguing is one of the biggest relaitonship problems many marriages face. Luckily, you can learn to stop fighting by mastering key communication skills. The first step is identifying which unhealthy conflict resolution styles you currently have.
The 4 most common unhealthy communication habits:
1. Yielding: Yielding means giving up on the issue to avoid an argument. This habit results in an imbalance of power: one person wins and the other looses-- and leads to symptoms like depression and resentment. Plus, the problem starting the arguments never gets solved!
2. Freezing: Freezing happens when you refuse to talk about the issue. You may avoid starting the conversation at all, or walk away and shut down during the conversation. When communication freezes, you build icy walls of stress and tension in your marriage, leading to feelings of anxiety and emotional distance.
3. Fight 'till you win: This is the familiar yelling, bickering and arguing that many couples face. Fighting leads to ill will and excessive anger. It can develop into controlling behaviors, and verbal or even physical abuse. Like yielding, fighting leads to an unbalanced win-lose outcome which can trigger depression and resentment in your spouse..
4. Do you find that because you feel unable to address the issues in your relationship you’re tempted to turn your time and energy elsewhere? That’s called flight.
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The flight solution can lead to alienating behaviors like infidelity, addictions like alcohol abuse, or porn, compulsive spending or workaholic tendencies.
What’s the alternative?
Fear not. Millions of people live in happy marriages without painful marriage problems. That’s because there is a 5th, and better way!
5. Do you talk things through, respecting each other’s opinions, and make mutually satisfying win-win plans together? That’s what good communication in marriage should look like.
Believe it or not, good communication is a skill. If your parents weren’t a good model for a healthy marriage, you’re probably like millions of other people who just haven’t had someone to teach them techniques for how to communicate in a way that supports happy marriages. The good news is that you can learn those skills now.
Don’t get trapped in any of the 4 classic categories of communication breakdown. Power of Two Online was built with grant funding from the Federal Department of Health and Human Services to help you. It's an alternative to marriage counseling—online.
By joining the Power of Two Online, you can learn the communication skills you need to solve your marriage problems. Enjoy the loving, playful marriage of your dreams.
We’re here to help you build a strong & loving marriage. Get started today!
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