Decision Making Tips and Traps: Concerns Not Positions
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In this unit you will...
- Discover the consequences of arguing for Positions instead of exploring Concerns.
- Practice distinguishing between the two.
- Hone your ability to shift from Positions to Concerns.
One of the most common places that Win-Win decision making falls off track is when someone argues for a Position instead of shifting to exploring Concerns. Re-iterating your idea about how to proceed with arguments like, "we really need to get that tv because it's a great deal" or "spanking her is bad because it teaches her violence is ok" is a for sure way to derail the Collaborative Decision Making train. These arguments for a Position will just cause you both to dig in deeper.
By contrast, sharing your reasons as Concerns is so much more helpful. "It's important to me to really get a great value" or "I'm concerned about how we can model the power of talking things through to with our kids" keep things moving forwards in a way that will enable a Mutually Satisfying Solution to be found.
In this unit we'll help you to:
- Clarify how problematic arguing for a Position is.
- Complete a drill looking at common Positions vs Concerns around money.
- Practice looking beneath your Positions for underlying Concerns.
Ready to roll? Mark this Overview as completed and you'll be on your way.