Decision Making Tips and Traps: Concerns Not Positions

Unit Overview

In this unit you will...

  1. Discover the consequences of arguing for Positions instead of exploring Concerns.
  2. Practice distinguishing between the two.
  3. Hone your ability to shift from Positions to Concerns.
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The Basics:

One of the most common places that Win-Win decision making falls off track is when someone argues for a Position instead of shifting to exploring Concerns. Re-iterating your idea about how to proceed with arguments like, "we really need to get that tv because it's a great deal" or "spanking her is bad because it teaches her violence is ok" is a for sure way to derail the Collaborative Decision Making train. These arguments for a Position will just cause you both to dig in deeper.

By contrast, sharing your reasons as Concerns is so much more helpful. "It's important to me to really get a great value" or "I'm concerned about how we can model the power of talking things through to with our kids" keep things moving forwards in a way that will enable a Mutually Satisfying Solution to be found.

In this unit we'll help you to:

  • Clarify how problematic arguing for a Position is.
  • Complete a drill looking at common Positions vs Concerns around money.
  • Practice looking beneath your Positions for underlying Concerns.

Ready to roll? Mark this Overview as completed and you'll be on your way.

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