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The marriage skills e-mail series includes:

  1. It's all about listening.
  2. How affair-proof is your marriage?
  3. "What the !@#$*?" How fights start.
  4. What kind of marriage problems should I look out for?
  5. What are the keys to supportive & intimate relationships?
  6. 10 reasons anger hurts your marriage.
  7. The sexless marriage checklist.
  8. Stop trying to help! Or... how to be a supportive partner.
  9. How can you fix your relationship?
  10. What is Good Communication?

Sex Fix-it Talk

Sometimes a couple’s sex life turns from a source of pleasurable connecting into an uncomfortable tension inducer. When there’s a squeaky wheel in your relationship about any topic, sex included, it’s time to use a version of Win-Win decision making called Fix-It Talk.

This worksheet will guide the two of you through this discussion.

Person A:

Notice What Needs Fixing and Share with a Feeling

I’ve been feeling _______________ when __________________________________ __________________________________ .

I’d really like to work together to come up with a new plan that will work well for both of us.

Person B:

Notice What Needs Fixing and Share with a Feeling

I’ve been feeling _______________ when __________________________________ __________________________________ .

I’d really like to work together to come up with a new plan that will work well for both of us.

Explore BOTH of Your Underlying Concerns about FREQUENCY

Explore BOTH of Your Underlying Concerns about ACTIVITIES

Explore BOTH of Your Underlying Concerns about AROUSAL

Ask the magic questions: Does anything still feel unfinished? Is there anything that I’m not fully excited about? If there’s anything that doesn’t feel great, go back and look for more concerns. Then add pieces to address these in to your Solution Set.

A few tips:

  • Make sure you each stick to describing YOUR OWN concerns instead of arguing for a plan or against your spouse’s concerns.
  • Make sure you take your spouse’s concerns as seriously as yours.
  • Step out of the box on the Solution Set generation. The best solutions have lots of little pieces so they meet all of both people’s concerns.
  • Things feeling tense? Take water breaks early and often!
  • Not seeing how to solve this? Take a walk around the block or set it down for a day or two and then come back to it. Some decisions need a bit of time to simmer!

print this worksheet

Click here to learn more about the Power of Two Online.

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