Identify (each of you) an issue in your life that you would like to be able to think through with help from your spouse. This could be a problem you have been having at work, a dilemma with a friend, a habit you would like to change, or any non-couple dilemma that evokes uncomfortable feelings for you.
Now, take turns supporting each other as you attempt to solve these dilemmas.
As you go, use this checklist to help keep you on track.
Base | Batter’s Task | Coach: Sample Questions | I did this. |
Batting | Identify a negative feeling, e.g., anxiety, hurt, irritation, etc. | I see a frown. How are you feeling? What’s up? | |
1st base | Identify the problem situation | What are you anxious about? | |
2nd base | Explore the underlying concerns | When did the feeling begin? How did that happen? What do they want? What are your preferences? fears? concerns? | |
3rd base | Create solution options | What have you thought of doing so far? How else might you handle it? | |
Home plate | Score a run by choosing a solution | What’s the next step you’ll take? And after that? | |
When you’re done, talk or write about the following questions.