Marriage Unplugged

Great marriages have lots and lots and lots of joy, love, appreciation and positivity. If you’re like most of us, it’s easy to forget sometimes. If your marriage is struggling, it may have been a long, long time since you shared anything positive.

Likewise, great spouse's remember that they are on the same team. They pull together for the family.

So for just three minutes, put everything else aside and give your marriage a quick boost.

Complete the following form.

When you've finished, print it out, copy it to your own piece of paper or note-card, and put it on your spouse’s pillow.

Ta Da. You’ve given your marriage a little booster.


TIP: Insert something your spouse does to keep the house going, however big or little it is.

Need some ideas? Hopefully these will help you find something that you can appreciate about your spouse’s effort.

  • Do the dishes
  • Help earn money to sustain our family.
  • Take out the trash.
  • Suggest fun movies to watch.
  • Walk the dog.
  • Are home for dinner.
  • Send me text messages.

TIP: Find one way in which what your spouse does helps you or your family. Serious or silly, both work, just be genuine.

I’ve been thinking lately about how important it is to me to be a team in this whole marriage thing and just wanted to let you know I do notice the things you do for our team.

Once again, thank you.

With Love,

print this worksheet

Quick, on a scale of 1 to 10 how "plugged-in" do you think your marriage is? That is, how much do all of those devices with plugs and batteries and ringers impact your relationship?

In this marriage booster you're headed back to science class for the 2-day Unplug Your Marriage Experiment.

Here's how it works: for the next two days, when you are not at work (and this works best on a weekend), you are going to completely unplug yourself.

What does that mean? Just what it says. Unplug every single device you have. Start with the TV; unplug it. Then the cell phone. Change your greeting to say you are unavailable unless there is a complete and total emergency. Then the computer; yes, unplug it too.

And now, just enjoy. Enjoy the next two days. Let life move at a slower pace. Play a board game. Read a book. Read a book out-loud. Cook a gourmet dinner. Sing a song. Ride your bike. Most of all, notice your spouse. Spend time together. Savor life together.

This worksheet will help you to prepare and reflect on the Unplug Your Marriage Experiment.


  • When am I / are we going to unplug?
  • What am I / are we going to unplug?
  • What arrangements do I / we need to make in order to do this?
  • What would I enjoy doing while unplugged?
  • If doing this alone, how am I going to explain what I'm doing to my spouse? How can I unplug without forcing him/her to join me?

Post-Experiment Reflection:

  • What was hardest about being unplugged?
  • What surprised me?
  • What did I like about being unplugged?
  • How did I relate to my spouse differently?
  • What did I learn from this experiment?
  • How can I change my life/our marriage as a result of this experiment?

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