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The marriage skills e-mail series includes:

  1. It's all about listening.
  2. How affair-proof is your marriage?
  3. "What the !@#$*?" How fights start.
  4. What kind of marriage problems should I look out for?
  5. What are the keys to supportive & intimate relationships?
  6. 10 reasons anger hurts your marriage.
  7. The sexless marriage checklist.
  8. Stop trying to help! Or... how to be a supportive partner.
  9. How can you fix your relationship?
  10. What is Good Communication?

Use Insight

Click the image above to download and print out the set of dialogue cards.

What is this about?

Open a few doors together in this guided conversation. In this drill you will practice using Insight statements to share information.

Tips for Completing the Activity

Start this Real World Challenge by downloading the pdf above.

Find paper, pencils, and a comfortable spot to sit together. To begin, each write 10 sentences beginning with the word "you." For example, "You were late picking the kids up" or, "You like to eat healthy food." As you're writing, ask yourself: who is the focus on, you or your spouse? "You" statements like these are all Crossovers.

Next, take turns translating your Crossovers into Insights. Use the three formulas in the above pdf to create a new version of each statemtent -- a version that is focused on sharing information about yourself.

HINT: Keep the focus on your own preferences. For example, "I would like to be sure that the kids are picked up on time" or, "I feel hungry when salad is all we have for dinner." "I would like you to pick up the kids" is still a Crossover because it tells your spouse what to do!

Reflection Questions

  • How did you feel when you wrote the 10 "you" sentences?
  • What happened as you changed them to Insights?
  • Share some of both of your Insights. How does it feel to hear information from your spouse in this form?