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Fix Crossovers with Insight and Questions

The Basics...

In this video Dr. Abigail Hirsch coaches participants in a live Power of Two Workshop as they try to convert Crossovers to Insight and Questions. While in theory this may seem simple, it's often not quite as easy as it sounds.

TIP: To maximize your learning, once you have a feel for the drill try pausing the video before each participant answers. How would you answer? Then compare your response to theirs.


Crossovers are when you tell your partner what he or she think, feels, or should do. Crossovers undermine communication.

Insight is one way to avoid using a Crossover. Insight is when you look inside yourself and describe your own thoughts, feelings or preferences.

Questions are the second way to avoid using a Crossover. Questions enable you to learn about your spouse. The best questions start with "how" or "what."