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The marriage skills e-mail series includes:

  1. It's all about listening.
  2. How affair-proof is your marriage?
  3. "What the !@#$*?" How fights start.
  4. What kind of marriage problems should I look out for?
  5. What are the keys to supportive & intimate relationships?
  6. 10 reasons anger hurts your marriage.
  7. The sexless marriage checklist.
  8. Stop trying to help! Or... how to be a supportive partner.
  9. How can you fix your relationship?
  10. What is Good Communication?

The Restaurant

Listening Skill Drill

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The Basics...

Listen in on three different scenarios with this couple and see if you can identify the Effective Listening skills they use.

Key Terms:
Ineffective listening
Listening with an attitude of trying to dismiss, debate or ignore. The word but is a sure signal that a response is ineffective listening.
Effective listening
Listening in a way that takes in new information and builds a sense of shared understanding. This is characterized by listening to learn and by chewing on and digesting out loud what has been heard.
Listen to learn
A stance for listening that focuses on what is right, makes sense and can be learned from what the other person says.
Digest aloud
A skill for making sure one is listening with full attention. Digesting aloud is characterized by chewing on what you hear, integrating it with your own experiences or observations of how the speaker's words make sense, and then sharing back these thoughts. This is in contrast to simply parroting back what you've heard without chewing on it.