The secret to how to rekindle a marriage? End it. Then start over--with the same person!

If your relationship is in trouble and you want to know how to rekindle a marriage, what can you do? The good news is, even just one dedicated partner working on marriage skills can increase the odds your marriage will survive -- and thrive. Power of Two founder Dr. Susan Heitler has worked as a psychologist for over 30 years and helped hundreds of couples learn how to rekindle a marriage. Dr. Heitler recognized that the problems most marriage face are ones that can be solved with skill learning instead of divorce. Here are her “3 L’s,” the areas that help most in how to rekindle a marriage. With these skills, you can toss out your old marriage--the one full of bickering, jealousy, and miscommunication--and start over again with your partner. Same spouse, brand new marriage!

1. LISTEN.

An important part of how to rekindle a marriage is taking the time to listen and digest. When you listen to your partner and look for what is right about what he or she is saying, instead of the flaws, you can learn how to disagree and make decisions in a productive and enjoyable way. Listen to your spouse’s concerns and take them seriously.

2. LOVE.

A key part of how to rekindle a marriage is increasing positivity and warmth in your relationship. This means catching yourself when you make negative comments and reactions. This is tricky because they are often automatic! It also means being loving.  Love is sharing, appreciating, and admitting mistakes. It is also showing affection, with gestures big and small, physical and verbal, sexual and non-sexual. The more loving energy you radiate, the more that others, including your spouse, will want to be around you. No need to gush. Just emanate light, not darkness. Being more loving is an important spark in how to rekindle a marriage.

3. LEARN.

Marriage is a high-skilled activity. Learning how to save a marriage takes time and practice. Fortunately, because it is a skill, that means anyone can learn how to rekindle a marriage! Instead of focusing on ways in which your partner could change, focus on your own learning journey.  The results will be even better if both of you are learning together—at the same time, even just one of you learning and practicing can have a huge impact on your marriage.  Spouses react to and bounce of each other’s habits and energies. As you learn and apply more healthy marriage skills, your spouse will begin to mirror the positive changes.

 

Learn how to rekindle a marriage today and get started on the road to your happily ever after. Open your ears to listening. Open your heart to loving. Open your mind to learning. Try out FREE 3-Day trial of Power of Two Online today to learn powerful new skills for fixing broken relationships. You can start messaging your coach right away!

 

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Funding for this project was provided by the United States Department of Health Services, Administration for Children and Families, Grant 90-FE-0123. Any opinions, finding, and conclusions or recommendations expressed in this material are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of the United States Department of Health and Human Servies, Administration for Children and Families.